Web Relationships

As with other things that were invented for the good of mankind, the Net will also become a breeding ground for criminals. It's straightforward to lie within the Net and fake your identity. Too many individuals have unwind their guards because they will hide underneath fictitious names. For your own safety, you need to be in a position to know what things to avoid in Net relationships.
Understand what you're dealing with. Perceive that the Internet could be a powerful medium to communicate. Since on-line relationships are mainly based mostly on text, audio and video communications, messages can get misconstrued and complicated. Additionally, it doesn't facilitate when you are not in a position to physically connect and sort out these confusing messages. Additionally, you will need to get some perspective into your on-line relationship.
To several people, the thought of starting a fling with a complete stranger who lives in another half of the planet might seem utterly absurd. They'll argue that one can never get to know who or what the person is truly like, as they are doing not get to fulfill in reality, and whatever they need between each other exists over their laptop screens.
There's, and in all probability always can be those that will see a negative aspect to trying on-line for love. Some say these types of relationships are false and unreliable providing dating on the web allows folks to pose as anyone they please when posting their public profile. This of course is true, but nothing during this life is an simple ride and taking some time to find out how to by-pass the hidden traps can open the door to many new beginnings with wonderful and genuine people.
How briskly is your connection to the web? Do you have dial up, DSL, or cable? Fast and faster looks to be the order of the day when connected to the internet. And also the faster net connection that you have the a lot of people seem to multi task. How many different chat sessions might you've got going? A minimum of two of them together with checking email with the most recent message from that subscription newsletter that you simply signed up for.
Most folks assume that having a relationship online is much easier than in real life. Of course, it's simply the same because the 'universe'. All relationships are primarily based on honesty, trust and respect. If you don't have the previous 3 values, then it will be very laborious for you to start out a meaningful relationship. Meeting folks on the Internet is also just as dangerous as meeting folks in real life.
Internet relationships have gotten larger and bigger, which means that there are more and more fraudsters out there. This implies that the extremely hot girl in the bikini that needs you to read her web cam probably is not really a hot girl. And even if a true person contacts you online, it's kind of exhausting to be ready to inform who that person is really. There is solely one approach for an Internet relationship to work.
If you're taking this relationship something near seriously then you'll wish to meet your partner at some point in the future. Though it could seem a long manner off right now, do think about it as a result of if it may be not possible maybe there is no point in attempting to continue the relationship. If you think it can be attainable, then it may be a sensible idea to start out taking steps towards it currently, for instance saving up money to obtain transport.
After you go clothes searching, you almost certainly do not get the primary outfit you see. You are selective: you seek out what may look nice on you and then you are attempting on completely different items to see how they fit and to check how snug you feel wearing the new clothing.

Priority Relationships

The most important relationship you experience is the one you have with Yourself. Your many parts comprise the while that is you.

Your intuition is the most powerful part of you. Your intuition, like your Little Voice, comes to you as a little voice in your head.

So, how can you tell the difference between the Little Voice that tries to keep you the same-tries to keep you from making changes - and your intuition which is, by the way, your soul, your Spirit speaking directly to You. How do you know which voice is which?

It is pretty simple actually. Ask a question. The Little Voice will go on and on and on and carry on a whole conversation with you-anything to distract you and keep you from doing whatever it is you want to do, right? On the other hand, if you ask a question to the voice that is your intuition, you won't get a reply at all.

Your intuition gives you a message that is always in your highest and best interest.

You might call it your gut feeling. Always follow your gut feelings because those messages are always, always, always in your highest and best interest-coming directly from your Soul. Just do it, whether or not it makes any sense at all.

If it tells you to get off the highway at the next exit, then get off the highway at the next exit. Further down the road there is gong to be an accident and you avoided getting in the accident because you got off the highway - when your intuition said to. Or, maybe your intuition told you to get off at the next exit because there is someone you need to meet who will get to the same gas station as you at precisely the moment you arrive.

How many times have you had a gut feeling then ignored it, and later wished you had paid attention, and followed through with that behavior? How many times will you continue to make that same kind of mistake?

Remember, when the voice speaks and you have no clue why it tells you to do something that may not make any sense to you at the time-ask it a question.

If you get an answer, or even a discussion, then ignore that feeling. But, if no answer comes forth-take that action.

Soulmate Relationships

Soulmates are people who have the relationship most of us dreamt of when we were young and innocent: loving and erotic, inspiring and safe and – best of all – lasting. However, soulmates are not a gift from heaven which some of us had the luck to receive while the majority has been left starving. Everybody who seriously wants to live in such a relationship can learn how to do that. There are four basic dynamics which are essential to create this wonderful relationship that most people dream of.

Commitment to love and to grow in love

Many people wrongly assume that their love would always flow beautifully if they would only meet the right person and that their more negative and selfish sides will only surface if their partner suddenly becomes difficult or boring.  The truth is that our love will only be as strong as our commitment to always regard the needs of our partner as important as our own.

Not more important and not less – just as important.

The law of an even deal

Unfortunately, a commitment to love alone – beautiful as it is – is not enough. There are a huge number of people who are very devoted to their partners and still their relationships are very unhappy because their love and dedication is not reciprocated. The law of an even deal says that all giving and taking in a relationship must roughly amount to an even deal if both partners are to feel satisfied. This really is common sense but many women still get the rough end when it comes to distributing the chores and family duties. Unconsciously they have allowed the law of an even deal to become uneven by being too submissive or too forgiving.

Many people do not like the thought of an even deal in a romantic relationship because it feels too calculating. However, after many years of working as a psychotherapist with people who have relationship problems I have to say: If we want a great relationship we can’t afford the law of an even deal to go out of balance from the very first moment when we meet a potential partner. This is particularly important for women who have a tendency to disregard the law of an even deal to their own disadvantage.

Harmonious and erotic patterns between female and male energies

Now we have love and equality but what about romance? Romance and erotic energy work best if a woman enjoys her femininity and a man enjoys his masculinity. Then both partners can start the romantic and erotic dance that is possible only if two people are delightfully different. The archetypal romantic gesture is when the male gives to the female and if the female receives gracefully. This is not an attack on the victories of feminism but simply appreciates what most people find romantically and erotically fulfilling.

The unavoidable merging-process between two people in a sexual relationship

Many people do not realise just how much two partners can hold each other back in their overall happiness. Being in a sexual relationship is like sitting in one emotional boat where you can only float or sink together. Unfortunately, it is the partner who is more unloving who will determine the overall atmosphere of a couple. This is due to the fact that negative emotions are more dominant than positive ones.

Soulmates have agreed to follow the advice of the happier and wiser partner (who is in this role may often change) so that the couple as a whole can develop in amazing leaps and starts and bring wonderful things to the world.

In my work as a counselor I have found that every problem in a relationship can be traced back to violating one of these four basic dynamics. On the other hand, if these areas of a relationship are positively in place both people will be very happy. For more information please have a look at my book Soulmate Relationships.

 

Intimate Relationships

So, this year you've set to make positive changes in your life. You're ready to embark on an enquiry for a rewarding intimate relationship. But are you truly prepared? Take a flash to reevaluate your relationship goals and, most importantly, your intimate relationship know-how.

The 2 sorts of love predominantly observed in close relationships are passionate and companionate. Anthropological research shows nice variations within the designs of intimate relationships worldwide. Within the Mediterranean, passionate love in intimate relationships is culturally revered, whereas in Sub-Saharan Africa passionate, affectionate exchanges are thought of undignified. Chinese couples tend to value companionate love over passionate love, whereas the reverse is true for American couples.

Cultural tendency to dismiss emotion affects intimate relationships


Regardless of the pivotal role emotion plays in intimate relationships, several people lose touch with their feelings. This is not shocking in a culture that views emotion as problematic. For centuries, cultural and non secular institutions condemned emotional expression as a shameful weakness. Individuals were encouraged to suppose, rather than feel. In recent years, the disdain for emotion has somewhat receded based mostly on our understanding of brain perform, nonetheless the preference for thought over feeling continues to prevail because the cultural norm.

Most people try to manage, rather than expertise, emotions. The emotions felt in our 1st love relationship, lay the inspiration for all verbal and nonverbal communication in future intimate relationships. Painful childhood experiences tend to resurface, conditioning us to substitute genuine core feelings with safe, intellectual secondary emotions. Turning into awake to our emotional experiences and communicating them effectively develops emotional intelligence in intimate relationships.

How to increase your intimate relationship savvy

The increase of widespread psychology has led to an outburst of concern about the present trends observed in intimate relationships. Social psychologists began to deal with the vital aspects of couple interaction affecting relationship quality and longevity. It became clear that teaching couples to attain a higher level of intimacy ends up in additional enduring unions. A healthy intimate relationship should satisfy each partners' complex hierarchy of needs. Yet, few people possess the skills to spot and effectively articulate their needs while not proper training.

We absolutely will rebuild our ability to expertise and specific robust emotions and get pleasure from harmonious intimate relationships. The language of affection is refined; it conveys our feelings through nonverbal communication. Without the power to speak emotion in an exceedingly non-threatening manner, there can be no real association in romantic relationships. So as to boost, or possibly save our intimate relationships, we tend to want to actually connect with our emotions. We must recognize the difference between basic instinctual reactions and therefore the emotional coping ways we use to avoid, minimize, or manage feelings repressed for years.

A relationship is not a static entity; it's a nonstop, ever-changing process. People who expect a soul mate to appear and magically rework their lives, beware. Soul mates may feel a life-long bond, but keeping even the foremost promising intimate relationship healthy needs constant effort from each partners. The way they handle new challenges determines the fate of the relationship. Establishing common ground between individuals may be a fundamental component for enduring intimate relationships.

Are you selecting satisfying, meaningful intimate relationships? Will you employ help understanding your loved ones and yourself? We will all profit from learned knowledge and improve the standard of our lives. Proactively improving your emotional skills before entering a brand new relationship, rather than reacting when you notice communication problems, is like getting a long-term insurance policy on the lifetime of your intimate relationship.

Recover Relationships

Starting again the dating scene is not always an easy thing. Especially in case you are still hesitating over win back your ex or let this situation go because you are not enough ready to do this. Nevertheless, you may get many benefits when getting back in the dating arena and putting yourself out.

 

Let's consider why.

 

During the actual break up fight, things are said to hurt the other and truths are told that were never told during the relationship. This often leaves someone or both parties feeling down about themselves.

 

You tend to bounce back after that someone new sees you for who you are. Your confidence level shoots right back up. Who knows, you may even forget about all of the heartache you were feeling immediately after your breakup. Wouldn't that be a nice thing? Believe it or not, many people benefit from rebounds for that very reason.

 

A small suggestion here which may help is a rebound relationship.

That's not necessarily a good way of saying it, but the idea of it could be a good thing for you to consider.

 

A rebound is supposed to be fun and not long lasting. They are just there to help you to feel better about yourself and your newly found single-ness.

 

Your ex may also have a rebound and that's okay since it isn't meant to be anything serious. Most don't last longer than a couple weeks.

 

The main reason is to allow the person giving you all this new found attention to help you reclaim your cheerfulness and take away the loneliness of being dumped.

 

After the rebound situation, you will be more confident then after your break up and confidence is a very attractive trait.

Your ex may even notice this about you. You can then decide for yourself if you are willing to give him or her another chance.

 

Bad Relationships

Some people may say that bad relationships are just a part of life. This may in fact be true, as most people have experienced a bad relationship at some point in their lives. There are many different types of relationships to consider though, and each kind can be treated differently. A romantic relationship that has gone bad has quite a different set of circumstances than a bad relationship with someone at work. Any strained relationship can be uncomfortable though.

Bad relationships with people at work can involve many levels of concern. If the person you are having a difficult time getting along with is a co-worker of equal "rank" within the organization, you can try working things out on your own or you can take the matter to a superior in extreme cases. In this situation, working things out on your own is probably preferable in cases of a minor nature.

If the person you have a bad work relationship with is a superior, you have a much more sensitive situation. This situation is very much dependent on the individual circumstances. Before opening any cans of worms that you may regret, take an honest look at your performance to see if that may be the root of the issue. If it is, then you should try doing what is expected of you at your job, assuming that it falls within the job description you signed on for when you were hired. If the problem goes deeper or is at a personal level, you may be forced to look elsewhere in your work environment for support. You must tread carefully in this area but you should not let yourself be the victim of any unfair abuse. If necessary, you should consult a professional trained in this area of conflict before proceeding.

If your bad relationships tend to be with romantic partners, you should once again look at your own part in the situation before escalating things.

A relationship of this type is based on both partners being equal. If the relationship is not equal, that in itself could be the basis of the problem. Remember that you should never feel subservient or inferior in a romantic relationship. Being in a romantic relationship is a choice and you should not be in it against your will.

Sometimes, as a relationship matures, people may begin to take each other for granted and drift apart. This is not a healthy thing, but it does not necessarily spell the absolute end of things. Often, when both partners are willing and able to work on making things better, this trend can be reversed. If you have already broken up, a little distance can sometimes give you and your ex a new perspective on the situation. Making up after things go bad can happen. It is not always fast or easy, but it is possible.

Decoding Relationships and Cheating

Relationships and cheating don't exist together. A relationship don't allow the presence of cheating. Cheating causes easily the end of a relationship. It is considered as one of the most destructive behaviors to occur to a couple in a relationship.

 

You know, when you think about it relationships are the most amazing complexities. They are made linking two separate people with different values and perspectives on how things look and how they should work. Two people with very divergent needs and wants. Relationships are expected to flourish in the midst of blending all the distinctive and opposing conditions of each person. It is a wonder how any relationships survive. Many relationships do survive though and they can grow to be healthy and beneficial for both partners.

 

When a couple has come so far as to create a meaningful connection with each other then cheating is devastating.

I am sure you know this. Sometime in your life you have either known someone who has been cheated on or have been cheated on yourself. Or...there is the other possibility...that you were the one doing the cheating. Whether you were the cheater or the cheatee (is that even a word?), it hurts.

 

The cheatee hurts because of the intense feeling of betrayal.

The cheater hurts because of the lying, secrecy and guilt.

It is a no win situation for all involved.

How will you ever get over it? Will it happen again?

 

The big factor here is going to be the trust factor. If you are ever going to be happy with your significant other again then either you have to forgive them and trust them or vice versa.

This is not going to be an easy accomplishment. In some cases it may not even be possible, but that's something that the person who was cheated on has to consider and decide for him or herself.

 

The cheating situation could have occurred for a number of reasons. Possibly the cheater will say the affair meant nothing. It was a one night thing and it just happened. Just "happened"? I don't understand that myself, but if the cheater is rather immature then I suppose it's possible.

 

If you were having problems and the cheater thought the relationship between you was over then it could have happened. This is not giving them an excuse, but it could be the reason for infidelity in a relationship.

 

Either way the cheater was WRONG and they hurt the other person whom they are supposed to care for immensely.

 

The two of you must talk about it. Get it out in the open. Realize the cause and see if you can mend the relationship. In many cases, the cheating is not the real problem. Cheating is merely the symptom of another problem. Be honest with each other. Discover if there is something deeper, more problematic than just cheating.

 

Then the person who was cheated on has to decide whether they can forgive and trust again. It's not easy, but that is not to say that it can't be done. Many couples have managed to survive an affair.

 

Staying in the relationship when there is no trust is a miserable basis for a relationship though. The constant suspicions are agonizing and uncomfortable for both people involved. Understand the situation, look at it from the other's point of view and determine if there is truly a desire for reconciliation in the relationship and cheating situation.

 

Improve Your Relationships complex

Relationships are complex things, but following these basics will help you make your relationships healthy and strong.

When in doubt, listen first and check to see if you have understood the other person by asking them questions. Often relationships go awry when people feel they aren't being heard or understood and sometimes it's important just to listen. You have to know what they want, not what you think is good for them. Listening is what helps us to find connection with each other. This also means you need to tell others what you really feel, think, and want. You can't feel connected if you don't voice these things.

Communicate simply when it is most critical that they hear you. Get clear in your own mind what kind of outcome you would like and try to state it in the most simple and specific terms. You will more likely be understood the more clear you can be, and often that means fewer words, not more.

Sometimes repetition is necessary in getting through to someone what is really important to you.

Always show respect. Respect means listening, accepting a no when you are given one, not taking them for granted, being honest in your dealings with them, and not criticizing often or discouraging them. It is also important that you do not try to control others, and just as important that you show respect to yourself and ask that they treat you the same or be willing to walk away.

Know when it isn't a healthy relationship. Just because you care about someone doesn't mean you should be in a relationship with them at this time. They should be good for you, not addicted to anything, not controlling or abusive in any way, and make you feel secure and happy.

It is not possible to make a relationship work with someone who doesn't care about you, or who abuses a substance or you, so don't try.

Seek to be good for others and don't tear them down. People like to be with those who make them feel good and who are good for them. Lighten up and have fun together and your relationship will grow.

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What Spiritual Relationships is ?

Relationships are something that are so vital and are something that happens even without effort like family relationships. But then there are relations that also involve effort at times like that of partnering of different types. Whatever it is, most of relationships need effort to be maintained and kept alive, as those seen between partners. The longer the commitment of relationship, the more it seems it needs efforts to keep it alive. But, one relationship that needs least effort and involves least of complications is spiritual relationship. Spiritual relationship need not only mean among partners but it can be any deep relationship, deeply motivated and guided by spiritual bonding. Spiritual relationships nourish not just the physical and mental blending but also the deep bonding of emotional and soul bodies. Most spiritual relationships automatically find each other due to the law of attraction.

Such relationships meet each other not just for gratification of one's own physical, emotional and soulful needs, but also to support one and other in spiritual growth. So, it is not necessary that spiritual relationships have to be super-smooth or like the ones in fairy tales. The human being may not be aware of the other soul's need but one's higher self is aware of it all the time and keeps providing nourishment and support in all ways to the other person. One person can even put up a challenging situation in the relationship so that the other person or both face it and are able to overcome it, thus accelerating growth and evolution. But they also can be one of the best relationships one can think of if the evolution of both souls has reached higher stages. Such relationships are very nourishing and involve higher type of nourishment for each other like providing independent space, having total acceptance of each other irrespective of whatever flaws may be present in each other, being totally nonjudgmental or non-critical, easily forgiving each other and letting go very easily of whatever happens between them. In such relationship, each do not curb the other person's freewill and is ready to offer support and help in whatever situation. Such relationship will tend to naturally have very lesser or nil frictions thus promoting faster growth and deeper relationship. If you are longing for such relationships, you need not go hunting out for such but you can create them for yourself. Remember by doing so, you grow and also allow the other person to grow and thus develop a great spiritual bond. Most of the time, the people that we meet or come across in life are the spiritual relations but we are unable to see it because we expect so much from the other and usually the ego does not easily let this blend into the true spiritual relationship. So, your own relations can be slowly transformed into spiritual relations if you are able to practice patience, higher understanding than just the human view to things, accepting the person as he or she is, letting go quickly of any offense or hurt by act of forgiveness and by being totally nonjudgmental about them. These things might look too difficult but the fact is that when the other person starts enjoying these gifts from you, they sooner or later start reciprocating in the same way thus making a perfect spiritual relationship

Kindness builds strong relationships

Kindness builds strong relationships

Are you kind to your partner?  When you get into an argument do you practice kindness or you try to prove you are right?  Do you constantly play the game I'm right and you are wrong?  How to be kind to your lover?

Kindness is one of the most important characteristics of every happy and successful relationship.  Couples who you see have a successful and fulfilling relationship nurture each other instead of proving each other wrong.  Showing compassion is part of them and it is a positive habit that they have ingrained in their personality. 

I often see couples have a hard time in their relationship due to the fact that they play "I'm right and you are wrong" game.  They start blaming each other instead of taking responsibility and practicing the art of kindness.

 As long as you stay blaming each other, your relationship will be rocky and if the blame stays constant, your relationship will get affected negatively.

Jennifer mentions that she learned to practice the art of kindness in her relationship from her partner John.  She goes on to mention that whenever she used to start blaming him for issues, he starts to be kind and compassionate to her and in return, she started doing the same. 

As I mentioned in my book, "How to win your lover's heart" that if you want to have a successful and happy relationship with you partner, then you have got to eliminate blaming the other individual and start being compassionate and polite. 

How to be kind to your partner

If your goal is to learn how to apply the concept "practice being kind rather than being right" in your life, follow the guide below:

1.  Put the argument behind you

Putting the problem or argument in the past is crucial if you want to avoid small, petty, and sometimes big arguments and problems in your relationship.  When you put the argument in the past, you are saying to yourself the argument is over and it is time to look for solutions.

You might ask how can you put the argument behind you in the past?  Glad you asked!  The way I do it is by focusing on the end results and how this problem is going to be affecting our relationship in a few days, a few months, and in the long run.  This small shift in my mentality has helped me tremendously to put the argument behind me in the past and focus on the solutions instead and in return made a huge positive impact in my relationship. 

2. Focus on your partner's love

After you put the argument in the past, you need to start focusing and reminding yourself of the love you two have for each other.  This will help strengthen your focus on the positive.  When you're focused on the positive and the good in your relationship, it will be easier for you to practice to be kind rather than being right.

3.  Say something kind

Now it is time to say something kind.  I have personally made it a habit to say something kind and positive on a daily basis.  The more kind and compassionate I'm, the more I get the same in return.

After you practice these three steps, you will start doing them unconsciously and you won't notice that you are actually following these powerful steps.  These 3 steps might be simple in nature, but powerful when they are applied in life and in your relationship.  However, first you have to practice to be able to get to that level.  Practice makes perfect

Relationships: What Is Our Most Important Relationship?

During our lives we can have many relationships and some of these relationships can last for what feels like moments and others can seem to last a lifetime. It could be greeting someone we might never see again or embracing someone we will see many times.

These relationships can range from a childhood friends, colleagues, family members or a partner for instance. And no matter how old or young we are; what is clear is that we have all had relationships that have started and relationships that have come to an end. For these beginnings and endings are part of life.

Now, some of these may be relationships that we wish had never been started and relationships that we wish had never come to an end. But what life shows us is that we never know how long a relationship will last.

The Relationship That Lasts

However, there is one relationship that for as long as we live can never come to an end.

We might wish it would end at times and deny this relationship at other times, but it still exists. And this relationship - is the one we have with ourselves.

And although our external circumstances can change and our external relationships can end; this is a relationship that is always ever present and in motion.

A Metaphor

What I thought was a great metaphors for explaining this dynamic was a conversation that I had many years ago with my late father. I used to go to a martial arts club that was a short drive away from where I lived and this first began when I was at school and ended in my college years.

And to paraphrase what was said in this conversation: I said something along the lines of; it is was interesting how although I had left school and other experiences had come and gone in my life, what remains is me going to this martial arts club.

I recently thought about how this mirrors the relationship that we have with ourselves.

The Greatest Rejection

Even though it is possible for another human being to neglect, reject, betray, criticise and abandon us; it is also possible that we are doing these very things to ourselves internally.

We can feel overwhelmed and frustrated with these external relationships and then, follow that up with the abuse and neglect of ourselves.

And one thing that is certain about life is that not everyone will accept us or respond in a way that validates us.

This is what makes it so important that we don't close the door on the relationship that has the potential to bring the greatest joy and fulfilment.

Relationship with Ourselves

The relationships that we have with others will only ever be as good as the relationship we have with ourselves. It is highly unlikely that our external relationships will ever surpass our inner relationship.

And one of the reasons why external rejection, abandonment and neglect for example are so painful is because these feelings often exist within. They are perspectives and outlooks that one can come to identify with. This is because during our childhood year's one is often rejected and abandoned and unless these experiences have been processed, they will lay dormant and have the potential to be triggered at any moment by the relationships that one has with others.

Dependency

And if ones relationship with themselves is more or less nonexistent there will naturally be an over reliance and need for another. This can then lead to valuing another person more than one values themselves. Compromising ones needs and wants for another person.

Here ones loses who they are in the other person or people and only knows who they are based on the acceptance that comes from these external relationships. Ones emotional and mental state will completely depend on other people's behaviour.

Reintroducing Ourselves

When it comes to getting in touch with ourselves and in tune with who we are; it is not always easy. And this is often because of the ideas we have picked up from others. These ideas have then formed our perceptions of who we are.

This becomes our conditioned self or ego mind and creates our identity. However, what is true and what is real for us may not have anything to do with this conditioning. The only person that can say who we are - is ourselves.

So perhaps the only reason why we have neglected or rejected ourselves is because of the ideas we have about who we are. And these ideas have probably got very little to do with who we actually are.

Supporting Ourselves

Connection to our true selves is unlikely to happen overnight. And this is because like a tree or a plant that is just a seed; it takes time to open and expand onto the environment.

It is also normal for one to feel unsafe and vulnerable during the early stages of reforming this relationship. And this is because the ego mind has created an identity and formed an association of what is safe based on how things were. So as one changes their connection to themselves; their identity and therefore their behaviour will change.

This then has the potential to create conflict and resistance not only within, but also from without.

Being There For Ourselves

We can then begin to support ourselves from within. During the moments where we feel neglected or rejected externally; we can make sure that we are there for ourselves during these moments internally.

Our own capacity to mentally and emotionally regulate and sooth ourselves will also increase. And because our own self appreciation and self respect has increased for who we are, we will also be able to ask for help when we require it.

Relationships With Others

What will also occur are deeper and more meaningful relationships with others. As I mentioned above about our relationship with others always reflecting the relationship we have with ourselves; it is a natural consequence that the relationships we have with others will change as we change.

As are self integrity increases we will attract others who have integrity and by accepting who we are; it will allow other people to gravitate to us who accept us. The relationships in our life that don't honour who we are will also begin to change and perhaps even come to an end.

Advice on Relationships - 3 Tips For Relationships

Do you really need advice on relationships? The best advice can come from your own heart if you will just listen to it and take action on it. Ok, you know what you are feeling so maybe something out of this article will help you.

In this article I'm going to list three tips that will help you but it is up to you to put them to use. There is no one answer that anyone can give you or write for you that you have not heard all ready.

Use your common sense and apply what you read here today. The three tips I'm going to give you today are 1) build a successful relationship, 2) compromise and 3) open your heart. Now let us take them one at a time.

1) Build a Successful Relationship; all healthy relationships are built on Trust. This is the main one to live by. If in the past you were not totally a trustworthy person then now is the time to tighten up.

The person you have picked out to be your companion needs to be able to trust you and you have to be able to trust them.

Start this new relationship off on the right foot and that is with Trust and you will have a happy relationship. If something comes up that you think they are not being truthful about don't jump the gun and start accusing them of things. Be calm and have an adult conversation with them. Always keep a good line of communication open and just tell the Truth.

2) Compromise, this one is just as important as number one. By compromising you will be building a strong relationship where your partner feels important. There may be times one of you will miss a TV program or something but don't sweat it. By giving in on these smaller unimportant things your partner will be more than glad to give up something at another time.

3) Open Your Heart, to be able to open up your heart to your partner shows compassion and that you're not scared of your feelings.

If something that is bothering you comes up tell them what it is and have a solution to the problem. That way they want feel like it is their problem and have to come up with the answer.

Say you are going to be late because of work, call them up to let them know, that will mean a lot to them. Remember birthdays and anniversaries when you remember things like that your partner knows you care. When relationships are built on things like this you will seldom have problems.

Relationships - Do You Have Problems With Relationships?

It's pretty simple why relationships work or don't work. Here are the main reasons they don't:

One: You go into a relationship without knowing what you want.
Two: You go into a relationship with a firm picture of what you want, with very little flexibility.
Three: You go into a relationship not caring what you're going to get.
Four: You go into a relationship knowing something better will come along, and you'll go after it.

If you are about to go into a relationship, wouldn't you rather it was one you were proud of, one you were happy in, one you felt great about? One you're going to enjoy telling your grand kids about? How do you do that?

First, if you don't know how to do that, check around. Go to places where couples are and watch them interact. What do you like about what you are seeing? What don't you like?

After you've done this several times, you go home and write a list.

Yes, I know. Lists can get you in trouble sometimes. Well, this list is just a list of what you saw that you liked. That's all. You just liked what you saw and wrote it down.

There are those who say to write down what you don't like also. I say Why? If you write down what you don't like or want, you are attracting it. In your mind, you say "I'm going to stay away from "that"." Your brain hears whatever "that" is, and that's exactly what you will see. You are attracting "that" simply by thinking about it. It isn't exactly what you are saying that matters, it's what your brain is hearing that counts. Think about this.

"I'm not going to give that person a piece of my mind."

Or this.

"I'm not going to eat that cookie."

Or this.

"I'm not going to spend all my money before payday."

Your brain doesn't acknowledge "not", so take the "not" out.

What is your brain hearing -- over and over?

What inevitably happens? You do give that person a piece of your mind. You do eat that cookie. You do spend all your money before payday. Because chances are, you are saying it or thinking it over and over.

Again, I say Why write down what you don't like? Why not concentrate on what you do like, and attract that into your life?

Going back to your list, what if it has things like love and respect and trust? Are you going to be able to attract love and respect and trust?

If you don't love, respect, and trust your inner self, then it's going to be hard to attract love, respect, and trust from others. Why? Because love attracts love. That means you have to love yourself in order to be loving and attract love.

Do you think you deserve love?

Do you think you deserve respect?

Do you think you deserve trust?

If the answers to those questions are no, what can you do about it?

It goes back to what are you telling your brain.

If you don't feel worthy of someone else's love, respect, or trust, you won't attract it.

How do you go about making it so that you do feel worthy?

You find three times a day to sit and relax. You visualize or pretend that you are worthy of all good things. Start seeing everything you do as good. Start right now making yourself the type of person someone can love, respect, and trust in your mind. It will soon come true in your life. What you see and believe, you can achieve.

Good luck!

Thanks for reading.

Rebound Relationships - The Truth About Rebound Relationships!

What are rebound relationships? It is a relationship which you take up on the 'rebound'. A rebound relationship is one you get into immediately after a break-up. Why do people do this? Well, just after a relationship ends, friends are going to advise you to get into a new relationship. They may be right; getting into a new relationship may make you recover from an old one. However, its name tells you about the problem with this relationship. It's a 'relationship on the rebound'. Here is the answer to your question, 'rebound relationships - do they work?'

In my view, more often than not, rebound relationships just don't work. Let us review the events that cause and take place in a rebound relationship.

Event #1: You break up with someone you truly love.

Event #2: You feel depressed and question, 'why did they break up with me?’

Event #3: Your friends now come to cheer you up, because they can’t bear to see you sad.

They take you out to have fun in bars and lounges to convince you that you can move on. You, in contrast, feel sorry for yourself.

Event #4: Eventually, after so much persuading, and your innate desire to show your ex girlfriend /ex boyfriend that breaking up with you was a big mistake, you start dating another person.

Event #5: You show off your new boyfriend/girlfriend around everywhere.

Event #6: After you realize that your ex didn't care about your new relationship, and is actually quite pleased with herself/himself, and you realize that the main aim of your new relationship - revenge, itself is not just a wrong approach to begin a relationship but has as well been an terrible flop and you're unsure of your new flame's last name, you realize it is over.

All things considered, a bad experience for all the parties involved.

Simply speaking, this rebound relationship was an arrangement and not a relationship at all. The basic premise for a relationship is supposed to be a common desire to keep each other happy and love. If your aim of starting a relationship is getting revenge; well, then it will be a pretty bad experience for you and a worse experience for the 'love' you found on the rebound.

Rebound Relationship Advice
Well, rebound relationships after a relationship breakup or after divorce are not the way to go. Of course, you need to start dating someone else, but not ANYONE! Take your time; find someone that you share a lot in common with, someone you really like, a person you believe you can love for the rest of your life. Always bear in mind that line... love doesn’t behave indecently... never brags... never jealous... and so on.

Relationships: The Healing Power Of Relationships

Whether it is relationships with friends, acquaintances or spousal for example; they all have the potential for healing and consequently growth to occur.

Opportunities are presented for one to integrate and process those parts that lay dormant; that are waiting to be realised. We are also given the chance to heal or let go of those parts that are negative or dysfunctional.

Happiness, Suffering And Pain

This also means that relationships have the power to create not only incredible happiness; but also unbelievable amounts of suffering and pain.

Relationships

The reason relationships have the potential for both happiness and pain is because they are triggering and reminding us of our past.

A past that likely had numerous traumatic encounters, needs that were ignored and neglected and moments of rejection and abandonment.

This is something that is unavoidable; our caregivers were only human after all. However the degree to which these things happened, the intensity and how they were interpreted during ones younger years is what will define present day challenges.

Repression And Dissociation

These childhood experiences that were stressful and overwhelming had to be dealt with somehow to ensure survival. With the brains ability to question not being developed at this stage; the ego mind had to protect and deal with them, with repression and dissociation often being the defences of choice.

Self Blame

During the years when we are completely dependent on our caregivers, we idealise them and make them into god like figures.

To see them in any other way would create high levels of stress and uncertainty around ones survival. This causes the child to blame themselves for any inadequacy the parent might have or wrongdoing that has been carried out.

This could be called a defence mechanism, as it helps to ensure survival. However, if it's not looked at or questioned later on in life, there can be the tendency to carry on blaming oneself for everything that happens; taking on an inordinate amount of responsibility.

Pain

Through repression and dissociation and after many years have passed, these old traumatic experiences will start to re-emerge. These will likely appear externally as the same or similar behaviours, environments and relationships and internally as the same feelings, thoughts and sensations that were experienced during those years.

Happiness

When we experience happiness in a relationship we are potentially reliving those lost moments of our childhood or being treated in ways that are the complete opposite of how we were treated during our childhood.

People We Despise

Part of what creates pain in relationships is behaviours that create tension, frustration and anger. These can cause one to despise the other person or people. What one comes to despise in another is often what they have come to identify with themselves and repressed; it is then completely out of their awareness,

However it is often a behaviour that is experienced a lot and something that causes a strong reaction. Perhaps this was a behaviour that they were exposed to during their younger years on numerous occasions. And through the self blame, have come to identify with the behaviour; making it personal, which then continues to draw in experiences that mirror the past.

People We Admire

What makes up the feeling of happiness in relationships is often admiration towards the people in our life. This is often experienced when we have projected those parts, yet to be realised, onto another. These are parts that exist within us, traits and abilities that have been neglected and denied. These aspects are waiting to be embraced and acknowledged.

Perhaps it wasn't safe for us to express them during those years. It might have also been the result of criticism from our caregivers, leading us to believe we don't have what it takes to be those things our self.

On the larger scale admiration can also become a form worship and obsession. Something that is common in today's culture with celebrities, musicians and sports stars.

How Long Will It Last?

When it comes to the early stages of the happiness, admiration and even idealisation that is experienced in a relationship; it's only a matter of time before cracks will start to appear and a more balanced perspective is revealed. As to how long this will be, depends upon many different factors.

How the relationship develops and how conscious and aware one is, will naturally influence how long it lasts for.

Seeing In Absolutes

The mind works in absolutes and likes to see everything in black or white; seeing someone as perfect is a normal consequence of the mind and an unmonitored mind will not suspect this.

Different processes will be utilized, to block out anything that goes against the minds tendency of only seeing in absolutes; which can help to keep the illusion of perfection alive. These can cause one to deny, dismiss and edit anything that goes against it.

It is said that chemicals are released in the brain during the early stages of an intimate relationship, of which the effects are the equivalent of being stoned.

Once Its Over

Once this stage or phase has come to pass and balance is restored, one will likely start to see behaviours and characteristics that create pain.

What has been repressed and pushed out of conscious awareness will appear once more, with the hope of being acknowledged; so that it can be processed and integration can be achieved.

The Healing Power Of Relationships

Whether it is through being around people who make us feel good or through people who have the opposite effect, they are both giving us valuable feedback.

The people who press our buttons or who we despise are showing what we are still holding onto. The memories and effects that they produce are still stuck in our mind and body. Patterns and situations are then created that reflect the past and situations are continually interpreted as if they were the same.

Conscious Relationships

This shows the importance and value of having relationships that allow one to be open and honest; where one can feel safe and supported. People who have this kind of relationship or who have experienced it will undoubtedly feel a deep sense of gratitude.

It might be the kind of relationship that is only possible with a therapist at first and through the work of processing and working on ones history; starts to spread into other relationships.

Being around people who can mirror and support us is extremely important. This assists in our healing process and in the realisation that it can be different. We can also internalize there ways or behaving and responding to us, thereby transforming our own self image and changing our inner models.

However, even in a conscious relationship there will be moments and occasions where reactive behaviours appear. We are only human after all and are not perfect. We all have defences that are in place to keep us safe. And they will stay there until our awareness and perception around them changes.

 

Relationships 101 - How to Save Your Relationship

Did you know that most relationships can be saved, no matter how hard the breakup was? There are cases when people shouldn't try to save their relationships, like when there is an abusive partner. But most cases have the potential to be fixed, and you already have the skills to save your relationship.

The main problem is that people usually give up too soon. People get angry or upset after a breakup and lose sight of what happened in the past. Look back in time....if you were having a good relationship at one point, it is very possible that you can bring it to be that way again. You have to decide if your relationship really is worth saving.

To cause even more problems, sometimes one person is ready to work hard at saving the relationship, but the other person can't look past the bad to remember the good times. And is it enough for just one person to work at the relationship?

It is possible, but not easy.

It's hard to stay optimistic when your ex isn't willing to work with you at all at trying to fix the problems. It might seem like you are fighting a losing battle.

Here's an important tip though: you have to keep working at it!

Even if the relationship doesn't heal, it will make you a better person. But if you keep working at it, then you have a good chance of getting back together. You can't just give up the moment things start to look bad.

It's important to remember the way you behaved at the start of your old relationship and compare that to how you are behaving now. Try to adjust your behavior so you are acting the way you used to when the relationship was still in good shape. Be thoughtful and be a good friend and work things out nicely instead of begging your ex to come back.

INTEREST & RELATIONSHIPS - Relationship Development (part 2)

INTEREST & RELATIONSHIPS

Have you ever been in the situation in which the people besides you keeps on being "interesting"? It means that they continue to talk about what they have achieved, who they know have seen lately, where they went and what they've been up to.Such kind of people is the one who do not care aboutwhat you say but always want to make you engage in what they tell you all about themseves.

 

Now consider being with a person who is genuinely interested in you. They ask questions about you and have their attention on you, not on themselves. That's the person you will inevitably find interesting.

 

If you want to start a relationship with someone you need to put your attention on that person.

 

Let's say you are meeting someone for the first time.

Keep in mind that all the information you may want to know about this person is in their mind, all his/her interests, knowledge, problems, upsets, beliefs, opinions, solutions and ideas. Everything and anything you might want to know about this person in order to know if you would like to associate further with him/her, is sitting right there for the asking.

 

You may believe it best to let this person know all about yourself in the initial meeting so they would want to meet with you again. You may think to tell them all about yourself or your ideas, your opinions, your knowledge, etc. in hopes that they will find you interesting enough to want to associate with you again. So you basically run off at the mouth and are as "interesting" as you can be.

 

In most cases he/she is sitting there feeling trapped in a barrage of communication from you, and wondering how he's going to extricate himself politely.

 

Your job in starting a relationship is to draw out data from the other person enough that you really begin to understand what they're about.

Your attention must be on the other person, their ideas and show interest in them. Do that well enough and that person will eventually tell you what you'll need to know and do to begin a professional relationship.

 

If you feel a nervous wreck at even contemplating leading the conversation with questions to another person, sit down and make a list of words you can use to start, i.e. what, where, when, how, who, etc., these are all words to "find out" about another.

 

Now as a word of caution, don't overuse the "WHY" question. In many cases, WHY may be confrontational, as it may put the person on the defensive. When starting out, you only want to collect data about this person, not have him/her defending their actions to you.

 

You can also try listing several possible areas of interest to ask about, work out a few of them on paper beforehand. You should practice ahead of time and not be held to notes during your meeting.

 

Relax and have fun...you may just make a new friend or business associate!

 

Online Dating Make Relationships!

If you are looking to date with someone then opt for online dating. In this 21st century there is nothing more fun and entertainment than online dating. People can have definite fun and excitement if they choose online dating. The online dating is actually a good way of making new relationship. People have been quite successful to make relationship through online dating. It is always nice and excitement feeling to meet new people through online. For many years the online dating has been successful to create new relationship through online. People have been quite successful to get their desire partner through online and in later stage they also marry the person to give their relationship a new name. There are many online dating secrets; people can follow when they are opting towards online dating. It is quite often providing them fruitful result within no time. So now lets move for the online dating and have a lot of fun.

Altering from truth is the simple choice use in the dating profile, instead what you may decide reader wants read. You must try being up front with the dating profile online in any of the case, majority of some other daters online who are on internet may have the particular things regarding themselves that they do not like. Honesty can get you there in end as well as most of the potential dates online may appreciate it while you see them personally. Try not to be short change yourself and do not lower the standards in case you are lonely, have split up with somebody or feeling down generally. Patience, game plan as well as being very truthful can see you to succeed while engaging dating services online. You need to weigh up the past relationship and think about what you have liked as well as did not like, as well stick what you think in.

In case, some issues bothered you with the previous partner for example: they smoked in and used some offensive words, do not accept that from new romantic interest hoping their better features may overcome this issues deep down actually upset you. Something that is very important as well as very common and we think to do when searching for the potential dates online is asking some questions, however probe gently, and carefully regarding the past. What they love or do not like, what they would like from the new romantic relationship and so on.

Christian Relationships: Tips For A Blessed Relationship

Do you would like to have a relationship that is guided by the blessing of God? Do you wish to have a contented and successful Christian relationship that different couples have? Do you want to use the values thought by the bible in building your relationship's foundation?
Good christian relationships pursue a path that's lighted by God's teachings. It will still aim for a happy and successful relationship while not forgetting the christian values. Experiencing the relationship that you have perpetually prayed for would bring great happiness and success in your life. It can strengthen your religion in God and encourage others to seek for a meaningful Christian relationship rather than just look for temporary pleasure or simply play with somebody's feelings.
The following tips are the key in attaining Christian relationships that are truly showered with God's love and guidance:
Tip one: Create God as your Relationship's Inspiration: In Christian relationships, putting God on the core of their foundation gives the enlightenment and strength required in facing numerous trials. When you choose the trail of God when having a relationship with the person you're keen on, you may have a relationship that can't be easily shattered by temptations and negative surroundings. A relationship that is being guided by God can continually see through the dark section that it will encounter on its itinerary.
Tip a pair of: Value Religion in your Relationship: One among the various vital teachings applied in Christian relationships is faith. When you believe in every other's love, you do not simply provide up on the various pressures that ruin several relationships. It enables you to possess a positive outlook in your relationship; so, permitting you to focus in motivating each alternative to aim for the best. Understanding the true meaning of religion and making it a part of your relationship prevents you and your partner from giving into wrong doings that will inflict pain in every other's heart.
Tip three: Create Honesty a Must in your Relationship: Another virtue that creates Christian relationships successful is honesty. Basing your relationship in the purity of love and intentions can facilitate you have got a relationship with deep and robust connection. It offers you a transparent idea of the road that you're leading into together together with your partner. It does not offer any space for emptiness and disappointment that several untruthful couples have in their relationships. After you apply honesty, you'll be confident that your love and relationship will stand the test of time.
Tip 4: Give an Unconditional Love: Just like God's unconditional love for his kids, unconditional love should be gift in all Christian relationships. You ought to give the love and affection required by your partner while not any condition. You ought to accept and treasure the qualities that your partner possesses. You ought to invariably stand by your partner's side to motivate him and to offer him strength especially when your relationship is facing a powerful situation. When you have an unconditional love for your partner, your relationship will still grow and become successful.