Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Rebound Relationship

A person who is newly independent after a break up is often vulnerable to getting into a rebound relationship with a new partner.  When a serious relationship ends, it can leave a huge emotional gap that screams to be filled.  Because you are still being strongly affected by feelings from the prior relationship, you cannot always judge things as clearly as you should.  A rebound relationship is often based on feelings that have not settled from the upset of ending the former relationship.  This can lead to rushing into something you will regret later.


Entering into a relationship too quickly after a break up can end up hurting both of the new partners.  If you think that you may be on the rebound, you should take a look at what you think of during an average day.  If you are still dwelling on the previous relationship and talking about it to friends instead of focusing on your new relationship, this could be a warning sign.  Experiencing feelings of anger and hurt after a break up is normal, but if you are still focusing on it when you are alone, you may be on the rebound.


Likewise, if your new partner seems to be distracted by a former relationship, you should consider whether or not they have jumped into a relationship with you too quickly.  Look out for warning signs from them just as you would for yourself.  If you are concerned, ask them how long it has been since they were in a serious relationship.  You can be subtle about this of course.  Notice if they are hanging on to items from a past relationship or if they mention their past relationships too often.  Talking about your past is normal.  Dwelling on it can be an issue and does not help anyone.


If you think that you may be in relationship based on a rebound, you do not have to give up on it entirely.  It may work out fine.  You should express your concern to your partner in the interest of honesty and consider taking things a little bit slower so that you can both be sure that you are using your best judgment and thinking with clear thoughts.  The ending of an old relationship and the beginning of a new relationship are very emotionally charged times.  Bringing them too close together without some restraint can cause problems down the line.  It is often wise to take things slowly after a break up and get your feet under you before moving forward.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Relationship Breakup

In most studies on stress, it has shown that a divorce ranks even higher on a stress scale than losing a loved one, or the death of a friend.  Most people don't know how to properly go through a relationship breakup.


The breaking up and end of most relationships will always be painful, and stressful.  Even if it's one that needs to end and is not healthy to be in.  You've spent a lot of time and emotion with your partner, and even if you're the one ending it, this still comes with a lot of hurt feelings.


Obviously, it can be even worse if you're the one being dumped.  Any relationship breakup that you don't want to end or even expected to happen can be very painful to go through.  What you have to keep in mind is that a relationship needs two consenting people that wish to be in it.  You may want it to go on, but if your partner has decided to call it quits, you may have to consider the fact that your relationship needs to end.


There is help though.


Here are some techniques that can be used to ease the pain of almost any relationship breakup.  There is several methods to outline here that have been proven to relieve the stress of a broken heart and ease the pain as you move past the hurt.


Step One: Figure Out Why - You need to know the core reasons why your relationship has ended.  This doesn't matter if you were the one breaking up or the one being broken up with.  Either way you need to realize, understand, or even figure out what the reasons are for the breakup.
Step Two: Get Rid of Reminders - You need space and time between you and your partner that you have just ended it with, or been dumped by.  No going to bed each night hanging onto your ex's old belongings or staring at their old photos.  You need to clean house and eliminate your space and mind of your ex entirely.  Not permanently, but just remove them out of sight and determine later if these items should be removed for good. It's important and healthy to make a clean break, so you need to put all those little reminders away!
Step Three: Positive People -  If you've just been involved in a relationship breakup, it's time to get out of the negative place you're naturally going to find yourself in, and start surrounding yourself with positive places, people, and things.  There are negative people in the world, and then there are positive people in the world.  You know who they are.  So go out and find them so that you can spend as much time as you can being around them and in a positive environment.  This combination with the previous two steps, puts you in the beginning of being in the right place to move on.
Step Four: Start Dating Again - The final step that is probably the most important one for you to start recovering from a relationship break up, is to start dating other people.  Before you panic and start shouting that you don't want anyone else, that it's your ex you only want, and no one else... the important thing to remember about this step is that you're not trying to replace your ex.  You're merely trying to start seeing things in a new perspective without them.  A date can be a friendly social thing and not a love interest.  Meeting new people does not have to be about rebounding to a new love interest.  It is only about being able to move on and see other folks.

Don't look at every date as a potential love interest.  Just look at the dating new folks as a chance to get your mojo back, and relieve some of that stress. Have fun and take a chance!  You might actually find some new and interesting people to have fun with or even more...


The four steps outlined here will have you mending the pain over your relationship breakup in no time flat. But keep in mind; you don't necessarily have to get over a break up. Sometimes good relationships fall apart for the wrong reasons, and you can fix the damage. You just need to find the right plan.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Rebound Relationship

A person who is newly freelance once a break up is usually vulnerable to obtaining into a rebound relationship with a new partner. When a significant relationship ends, it will leave an enormous emotional gap that screams to be filled. Because you're still being strongly stricken by feelings from the previous relationship, you can not forever choose things as clearly as you should.
A rebound relationship is often based on feelings that haven't settled from the upset of ending the former relationship. This could lead to rushing into one thing you'll regret later.
Getting into into a relationship too quickly once an occasion up will end up hurting each of the new partners. If you think that that you may be on the rebound, you ought to have a look at what you think that of during a mean day. If you are still dwelling on the previous relationship and talking regarding it to friends instead of focusing on your new relationship, this could be a warning sign. Experiencing feelings of anger and hurt after a clear stage up is traditional, but if you're still focusing on it when you're alone, you will be on the rebound.
Likewise, if your new partner seems to be distracted by a former relationship, you ought to consider whether or not they have jumped into a relationship with you too quickly. Look out for warning signs from them simply as you would for yourself. If you're involved, raise them how long it's been since they were in an exceedingly serious relationship. You'll be delicate about this of course. Notice if they are hanging on to items from a past relationship or if they mention their past relationships too often. Talking concerning your past is normal. Dwelling on it can be a problem and will not facilitate anyone.
If you're thinking that that you'll be in relationship based mostly on a rebound, you are doing not have to relinquish up on it entirely. It could figure out fine. You ought to specific your concern to your partner within the interest of honesty and take into account taking things a little bit slower thus that you'll be able to each be sure that you're using your best judgment and thinking with clear thoughts. The ending of an recent relationship and the beginning of a new relationship are very emotionally charged times. Bringing them too close along while not some restraint will cause problems down the line. It's usually wise to take things slowly when an occasion up and obtain your feet beneath you before moving forward.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Relationship Issues

Human beings are complex creatures with many hopes, desires and consequently, lots of problems. These problems seem to increase when two completely different people with their own ideas and desires decide to become a couple. At this point, these problems can become relationship issues.
Relationship issues are actually pretty common occurrences in any relationship. However when there does not seem to be a common ground that these differences can be worked out in, then a strain begins to appear in the relationship. Quite a number of couples who have relationship issues that they can't resolve, seek professional help in order that their relationship can become stronger and these relationship issues can be brought into perspective.
However there is no guarantee that even a professional will be able to provide enough help to resolve the relationship issues. There is also no sure fire guarantee that the relationship will move back into the same mould that it was in to start with. The main reason for this is the human baggage factor, we will take various aspects of this learning experience forward with us and a lot of the time this means negative emotional reactions to similar triggers.
As people are complex beings they are constantly changing and evolving. Each time this change happens it takes us farther away from who we used to be in terms of the way that we viewed and thought about the world around us.
The problems that initially cause the relationship to become strained are sometimes very small and in the normal course of life we wouldn't even take any notice of them. However, when we are part of a couple, our sense of the world around us, including our problems changes. In many cases we find that there is a limit to what we will not notice or notice but disregard.
For these relationship issues to become resolved what really needs to be done is to step away from the problem and look at it from the perspective of an outsider. When we do this we begin to see both sides of the problem and it is easier for us to know what must be done in order to resolve the relationship issues.
The main thing that needs to be remembered is that what you do to resolve your relationship issues will change the very nature of your relationship and sometimes this change is not for the better. However if we want to have some peace in our relationship then it is imperative that we find some way of solving these problems. Otherwise these relationship issues will tear our lives apart.
Relationship issues are part of what it is to be a human being. Without these issues, there is no way that we can evolve and become better than we are at our present moment in time. While it may hurt when a relationship is going through a rough patch, it can lead to a change for the better if both parties gain more understanding of each others needs and their own reaction to those. If on the other hand, the relationship should end, it is better for the break to be clean than for the relationship to linger on and fester because our relationship issues are not able to be resolved.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Relationship Repair

Repairing relationship requires much time and real endeavors to be fruitful. That’s why not everyone can succeed in healing relationship wounds easily. Luckily, recovering relationship with your Ex is not desperate but it’s not the task that you can complete alone and quickly. Deep reasons for your break-up will determine what proper measures for you to follow are.


 


So you should begin with finding the cause of the break down. You may find that a lot of small things have contributed to the break up. It is much easier to fix one big problem. But fixing several small things will require a lot of effort and patience. In either case, you need to put in the efforts, if you are keen on healing relationship wounds.


 


After figuring out what went wrong, you should honestly examine your own role and the extent of your contribution to the break up.

This will be a hard task for many people because no one likes to admit his or her mistakes. Even if you know that you have done a wrong, you may believe that the other person provoked you. But if your focus is on fixing things, you should not hesitate to own up your mistakes irrespective of what or who might have led you to commit them. Please remember you need to be not just honest, but brutally honest in evaluating yourself, if you have to zoom in on the real factors that caused the breaking up of the relationship.

 


It is not only actions but also words that might have played a big a role in a broken relationship. Words are as powerful as and sometimes more powerful than actions. It is well known that words can inflict deep wounds, which are difficult to heal.


 


The next thing is to decide what you need to do to fix the problems and commit yourself to investing the time required to work on this task.

Healing relationship wounds will invariably involve changing your behavior. If you are not willing to accept this change, you may as well give up your efforts!

 


But whatever you do will have no effect unless your partner is also willing to work on the relationship. If you are not both committed to making it work, it is better to abandon the idea of healing relationship wounds and accept the break up as final.


 


You also need to be aware that even after you save your relationship, the scars left by the break up will remain for a long time and you both should accept this fact. But you can still make your life memorable by loving each other sincerely, with no expectations or conditions.


 

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Relationship Timeline

When we talk of human emotions and particularly something as indescribable as the feeling of being in love, there can never ever be certainty about it. Why people fall in love, how they fall in love, when and with whom, no one can really tell. If you ever ask couples in relationship how much time it took them to know that they are the "one" for each other, the answers will range from years to months to days to even five seconds! So, to say for certain that there is a relationship timeline which all couples go through, is nothing but humbug! However, most healthy relationships (I would not say all), do go through some common stages, before culminating into a serious long-term partnership for life. 




Stages of a Relationship Timeline

As I mentioned above, there are a few relationship stages which almost all couples go through.

The first of these is the romance stage. In this stage, both the man and the woman feel highly attracted to one another. They date, meet often, call each other and have fun together. Both of them are at their best behavior at this stage and ignore whatever flaws they might see in each other. Researches show that during the romance stage the body produces endorphins, which make a person feel happy and unusually excited all the time. The man and the woman, during this stage, cannot even imagine to be separated from one another. They want to spend every waking moment in each other's company. 

Next comes the stage when illusions fade. People in a relationship realize that after all they are "people". Their partners are not as unique, special or different as they thought they were. They have some shortcomings and flaws just like any other person. The man and the woman may tend to withdraw a bit from each other during this stage. If the communication between the two is not strong, the relationship may never move forward to the "power struggle" stage and it may end in a relationship break up. 

If you look at a typical relationship timeline, you will see that this is one of the most difficult amongst all stages of a healthy relationship. During this stage, both the partners see each other for who they really are. The partners may start resenting each other's habits. There are lots of clashes, fights and trust issues. If the couple is able to survive this stage, they are most likely to stay committed. 

After knowing about each other's differences, if the couple is still able to form a friendship, an emotional bond between them, it lends a kind of stability to their relationship. The man and the woman realize that although they are very different from each other and have some relationship issues, yet their basic values and goals in life are somewhat similar. The partners, during this stage, are able to develop trust in between them. They may not fantasize about each other any more but they certainly feel more connected emotionally and physically. What follows next is a public acknowledgment of the relationship. The couple introduces each other to one's friends and family. There is talk of an engagement or marriage in the future. 

If you have ever been in a relationship before, you must have observed that you too went through some of the stages of a relationshipgiven here. Although, there is no fixed relationship timeline for men or women as every relationship is different, still, if you are a woman, an important relationship advice is to know the guy well, his nature, his personality, his values and his lifestyle, before taking things further. This will save you from lots of disappointments in the future. The same holds true for men too. Do not make a commitment or say that you love the woman, just because she wants to hear those words, talk of commitment only when you mean it!

Timeline of Sara & Geordan's relationship



Related links:


Creating Healthy Relationships


> Everyone Deserves a Healthy Relationship

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Online Dating - Developing An Online Dating Relationship

The subsequent article is one in every of a series of articles that concentrate on bringing you excellent content, tips and a ton more about Dating and Online Dating.

If you're wishing to be successful with on-line dating or you're looking for romance on the Web, spend some time learning the secrets of online dating success. It will pay you to require your time and prepare. I sincerely hope that you find the subsequent information of value.

Online Dating - Developing An On-line Dating Relationship
I also hope that it goes without too much explaining that if we tend to truly wish to develop a fruitful online dating relationship, then it wants a heap of due care and attention. In that sense it's not that totally different from growing and developing a "planet" relationship. If that is true, what are the teachings we tend to will learn?

Time
Attempt to seek out individuals who are looking for the same type of relationship as you are. If you are trying for a life partner, do not contact individuals who are on the planning out for an informal relationship. Taking time at this stage ensures a way higher probability of a successful relationship later.

Another aspect of taking time is creating sure you dedicate enough time to develop the net dating relationship. It can take effort and time to be told more regarding every alternative and develop a way of trust.

Get in bit along with your on-line dating partner on a regular basis. If your partner is doing the identical, treat their time and effort with respect. If they're not, perhaps there is a message that it's time to maneuver on and look for another on-line dating partner.

Communication
It pays to be truthful right from the beginning. If you write things about yourself that aren't true, individuals can eventually notice out about it. Keep in mind that you want folks to develop a true relationship with the 000 you.

We have a tendency to all have our sense and vogue of communication. Work at understanding every alternative's. It can begin to feel right over time if the effort is place in from the beginning. Once more, if either you or your on-line dating partner continues to feel uncomfortable with the means communication is going, it might be time to maneuver on.

Pay time writing a smart profile, that can show folks that you're seriously interested in finding an online dating partner. If you are serious about on-line dating success, let it show in your profile.

Privacy
Leading on from that last purpose, have total respect for the other person's privacy. Aside from information, photos and thus on which will be obtainable to members, if your online dating partner shares more data with you privately, build positive it stays private.

Sharing
Share special on-line and offline fun times. On-line - send greeting cards, links to favorite places, upload your favorite digital pictures and photos, share your favorite music, bands and thus on.

Offline- if you're exchanging addresses or post workplace boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards or little gifts and tokens of appreciation.

Really, simply as you would with an offline relationship, nurture it, permit it to grow naturally and you will apprehend whether or not it's going to develop further.

NOW is the time to ACT!
O.K. you've got browse the article. Currently is that the time for action. Without action, this article adds no worth whatsoever in helping you build or regain your self esteem. But remember, without action, you will well regret it for a long time to come. Thus, take action NOW.

Be the person you know you really want to be, you deserve it and therefore will your partner!

Anxious, Nervous, Worried? There's absolutely no would like to be.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Relationship Quotes

Relationship quotations might offer clarity into ourselves and those around us. These quotations below can give perspective on how other people live their lives, love their closest friends, or relate to the majority of people around them. The relationship quotes might be helpful to offer recommendations or to reflect about our connections. Below, find a collection of the best quotes about relationships, love, and missing people.

I Love You Quotes
I am entirely yours, that if I might have all the world given me, I could not be happy but in your love. ~ Duke of Marlborough

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved... loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. -Victor Hugo

Why do I love you? Because I finally learned what the word means, and you were the one who showed me.

You are a beautiful part of my life... I Love You!

For you see, each day I love you more Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. -Rosemonde Gerard

Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be. -Robert Browning

Missing You Quotes
Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated. -Lamartine

Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell. -Emily Dickinson

You may be out of my sight... but never out of my mind... I Miss You! -Anonymous

Relationship Quotes
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. -Jules Renard

It is better to be in chains with friends , than to be in a garden with strangers. -Persian Proverb

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. -Oscar Wilde

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake. -Aristotle

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. -Brendan Francis

Relationship quotes are for the birds. -Unkown

To have joy one must share it. Happiness was born a twin.-Lord Byron

Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age. -Jeanne Moreau

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. -George Carlin

We were all raised on Torch songs. We were all raised on hopeless romance. -Anonymous

Friday, September 7, 2012

Relationship Couples

I'm not that old, so I don't know for sure, but it seems like these days we make everything so much more complicated than it needs to be. That is especially true when it comes to relationship couples seem to find it so hard to figure out the problem and many times the problem is a small and simple thing.

One analogy I often use is that of a stone wall. Think of your relationship. Every time you do or say something that hurts or annoys your partner, it's like adding another stone to the wall.  A couple stones here and a few stones there don't matter all that much, you can still easily step over the wall to be close to your partner.

And, if you apologize, and make permanent changes, to the behaviors that caused your partner pain or annoyance, you can even remove a stone sometimes.  

But if you do like most couples do, and you continue to add stones after stones after stones, and you don't remove any, you will find it virtually impossible to connect with your partner.

By that point it will be very difficult and maybe even impossible to tear down the wall and have a meaningful relationship with your partner.

The trick is to make sure your wall never gets too high. How? Easy, talk. Just talk, don't yell, don't shout, don't accuse...talk.

It's very important each person in the relationship remembers that the other person has feelings too. When you are hurt and upset it's very easy to make everything all about 'you'.  That won't work.

If you take the time to realize that your partner has their point of view and remember, this has absolutely nothing to do with right and wrong, it's simply about recognizing that each person has their own view of what has happened and you need to let them express that view without getting defensive or upset, you might actually find that you are on the same page...just a different sentence!

I've had that very same experience. My spouse and I had very heated discussions but once we calmed down and actually talked, and listened, we realized though we were saying it in different ways we were both saying basically the same thing!

Once you come to that place it will help you take a stone out of your wall and it can also help you in the future if you can remember that you and your partner probably aren't all that far off from each other, you're just expressing yourselves differently.

For the most part no matter what your age, gender, religious, or sexual preferences, everyone wants to feel love, respected, appreciated, and understood. You want that and so does your partner, when it comes to relationship couples will be much better off if they never lose sight of that.  If you try to deal with your partner with those things in mind, and they do the same for you, your relationship will be much smoother, and there will be a lot fewer stones in your wall.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Relationship Advertising

Relationship Advertising

The connection online marketing strategy created in the immediate reaction advertising strategies well-liked within the sixties, 1970's as well as 80's. These types of strategies stressed the significance associated with client preservation as well as ongoing client satisfaction, instead of a good increased exposure of person dealings, as well as per-case client quality.

What's Relationship Advertising?

Relationship advertising is actually a kind of proper advertising which focuses on it is target audience with increased immediate home elevators the particular services and products a person might have curiosity about. This varies through other styles associated with advertising for the reason that this looks for in order to keep clients because they build associations together, rather than immediate or even invasive technique, that targets purchase associated with new business through focusing on vast majority demographics, based on possibility listings bought through 3rd party resources.

Because conventional advertising became popular within the sixties as well as 1970's, businesses discovered this harder to market customer items. The initial design experienced progressed into something, that centered on promoting fairly low-value items within bulk amounts to some greater amount of customers. Because the start of present day advertising systems, numerous techniques happen to be created so that they can expand it's range. Relationship advertising increased from this period, and it is one of these of the make an effort to increase the actual achieve as well as applicability associated with advertising.

To put it simply, Relationship advertising targets focusing on the connection associated with organization in order to client. For those who have a current client bottom, it seems sensible to understand exactly what these types of clients such as regarding your own services and products as well as the way you like a organization may enhance about this. Should you construct about the great associations a person curently have together with your clients, as well as produce client devotion, this really is much more useful compared to placing power in the direction of usually trying to obtain start up business.

Protective Advertising versus. Unpleasant Advertising

Relationship advertising could be recognized within easy football-like conditions associated with unpleasant as well as protective methods. "Defensive" advertising as well as "offensive" advertising tend to be conditions which were coined through D. Fornell as well as W. Wernerfelt within 1987.

Protective advertising explains efforts to lessen client turnover, improve client devotion as well as support the client bottom currently in position, through maintaining all of them pleased with your own support, as well as thinking about your own items. In comparison, unpleasant advertising looks for to acquire new clients as well as improve buy rate of recurrence. Protective advertising targets decreasing, or even much better controlling client discontentment, whilst unpleasant advertising targets "liberating" not satisfied clients through rivals as well as shifting all of them to the unpleasant marketer's client bottom basically obtaining clients to change groups.

Client & Customer Associations

Relationship advertising is really a crucial collaborative technique to keep clients. It's basically a good offshoot associated with client as well as customer Relationship administration. The idea is actually this particular; bringing in new clients is actually more expensive, however much less lucrative compared to building current customer devotion. Through building as well as advertising your own current clientele via investigation as well as an awareness, you'll produce a faithful clientele with regard to a long time, along with much less cost as well as greater results. Creating enduring associations using the customers a person curently have is really a formula with regard to long-term advertising achievement.

Albie have been writing articles for nearly 2 years. Come visit his blogs more often for tips and advice that helps people with the interest for Customer Retention Strategies and great passion and knowledge for Customer Relationship Management and all the different options & providers available in the market today. Find out for more info also here http://debsmarketingconnections.com/customer-retention-strategy

Monday, August 13, 2012

Relationship Itches

There are many hurdles for couples to clear during the course of a partnership. See them as opportunities to grow, and your bond can only get stronger.


 


Fourteen years and two sons into my relationship with a man I love, I chatted with one of my girlfriends. She was asking me how much of my personal territory had been compromised by my relationship. During the course of her questioning (she's a lawyer by profession), I had to admit that it felt like I was facing another round of the seven-year itch; a phase when the earth feels like it has shifted, and it is time to reflect and renegotiate. These feelings are natural.


 


Most couples aren't fully aware of the unrealistic expectations they have of each other, especially when they first get together. And it's only as the relationship evolves and the partners re-establish and strengthen their individual identities that the union can deepen.

If couples aren't aware of these dimensions, it inevitably leads to difficulties.

 


Below we identify some of the more common conflict zones and suggest expert ways to negotiate them.


 


The ‘We argue all the Time' Itch


 


Author Leah Jansen, 46, and her actuary husband, Colin, 40, have been together for 12 years. Their love is strong, but in the past few years bickering has become their default mode of communication. ‘Colin will make a comment about the way I pack the dishes or drive. I'll blast off with 'Are you trying to tell me what to do and how to be?'' She cringes a little at her disproportionate responses, but explains that being treated like a child upsets her.


 


The turbulence between Colin and Leah signals a painful yet natural evolution in their relationship. You begin to recognize you married a real person, not the romanticized projection. This discovery exposes the reality that your partner is not the answer to all your needs. It is natural, therefore, for anxiety to arise or a disconnection to occur.


 


Leah has learnt that when there is hurt in the room, she needs to get out. ‘In that solitude, even if it means spending a night on the couch or taking a drive, I consider other ways to say what I mean in a neutral space, where I'm not feeling attacked or having to make a retort.' Sometimes Leah writes down what she wants and needs out of the situation. ‘This means I can return to Colin calmly, and confidently express myself with the faith that I will be heard.'


 


The ‘We're parents and can't remember when we last had Sex' Itch


 


Linda and Dave Morgan, both in their mid-thirties, live in Maryland and have three kids under the age of 7. They are both self-employed and share a home office. In the gaps between the births of their children, Linda found herself recoiling at the thought of sex.


 


‘It wasn't only in the early stages, when my body was recovering from pregnancy and birth, but also in those first years of mothering, with breast-feeding, broken sleeping patterns and answering to the demands of a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old and a newborn, plus trying to do some work in between.' It's been quite awhile since she's had the urge for physical intimacy, and Dave's hints at needing more have made her feel resentful instead of desirable.


 


The issue here is not about Linda's missing need for sex as it is about a struggle to meet her basic needs. Linda needs sleep, alone time, intimacy, domestic and child-care support, good nutrition plus exercise and relaxation. Only after her energy is replenished can she honestly assess her longing for sex, rather than answering to a marital obligation.


 


And talking is crucial. Linda recently shared her frustrations with some new friends at a Moms and Tots playgroup. Some women found that speaking to their partner about how normal this ‘not now' phase is, and assuring him that it doesn't last forever, really helped. Another described how, one night in bed, she had asked her partner to close his eyes and imagine in detail what his body would feel like if it went through all hers had been through. He got the picture. The tension eased up and slowly she felt there was room and energy for a bit of playfulness.


 


The ‘Everyone else is getting Divorced' Itch


 


When couples all around you appear to be falling apart or taking strain, it's natural that you begin to reflect on what's not working in your own relationship. When other partners split, it can be felt as a loss. When your peer group's marriages don't last, it can be deeply disappointing, particularly if you've formed friendships with these couples. However, this should not prompt you to doubt the strength of your own relationship. If anything, it's a reminder to evaluate whether you are happy and your needs are being met, and should encourage you to be honest with each other about what issues really need to be addressed.


 


The ‘I feel the need to be Me' Itch


 


Recently I realized that I'd neglected some vital aspects of myself as I surrendered to the flow of being part of a twosome and juggled the demands of working motherhood. Walking in nature and seeing exhibitions, for instance, are passions that my partner doesn't share to the same degree. My personal boundaries had slipped, and I realized I was becoming slightly resentful about it. Whenever I feel a spell of self-pity creeping in, instead of blaming my husband and kids, I ask myself what's stopping me from getting what I want and need. Usually I'm the only one standing in my way.


 


So I treated myself to a weekend retreat on a farm. Besides the therapeutic value of nature's healing embrace, I was curious about the work of the workshop facilitator, Gillian Barton, a counselor in psycho-synthesis. Says Gillian: ‘If you feel you're in a cul-de-sac and want to rebuild your life, you must satisfy all four corners of the 'Square of Life' by addressing the body, the heart, the mind and the spirit. Ask yourself, 'What are my expectations, and what is the reality?' Accept the reality, make one small move and then allow one thing to lead to another.'


 


The "Seven-Year" Itch


 


The seven-year itch (or, in my case, the second round of it) is notorious for its association - with infidelity and breakups, but extramarital affairs or spending time away from home may all be used as distractions from the real work that is needed on a relationship. Even if life at home is relatively peaceful, couples often state that they no longer have anything in common and so lead pointed or angry coexistence. The premise of image therapy is that pain and conflict in committed relationships arise out of a misunderstanding of the meaning of romantic love, rather than a lack of love for our partners. In fact, ‘the source of the tension can be the very fuel for the fulfillment you seek.' The seven-year itch, therefore, should be seen as a chance for growth, not as an opportunity to look outside the relationship to have your needs met.


 


The ‘Children have left Home' Itch


 


Often, children become the buffer for conflict or the sole reason for communication between their parents. Once they leave home, the problems that have been swept under the carpet begin to show and many couples hit a crisis. Partners who have used their parenting role as a substitute for something missing in their relationship will find it much harder than those who have consistently worked at filling those gaps with the children around.


 


One couple who have successfully navigated the empty-nest syndrome are Mark and Erica Daniels, both in their mid-fifties. Instead of feeling loss at their children's absence, they find themselves rejuvenated. And, with more money and time on their hands, they are able to plan for more weekend getaways and overseas travel.


 


Their secret? Mark and Erica have always had a once-a-week date night; they've spent time sharing their favorite TV programs and books, and exploring their common interest in museums and heritage sites, as well as walking regularly along the beach, cycling, playing games, like Scrabble and chess, and having long, relaxing, Sunday afternoon chats. This has built a foundation for a relationship where they feel there is still much to explore and enjoy with each other.


 


The ‘Dealing with Change' Itch


 


Marianne and Gert, both 39, have been together since their last year of high school. A few months before they married, Marianne's mother died of cancer. Soon after, they were in a car accident that left Marianne with permanent back problems. They moved to a new city and Gert started his own business. In the same year, they had their first child. Soon after, Marianne's 18-year-old brother came to live with them. She and Gert had never fought as much as they did in that period of radical change in their lives.


 


‘Before we had our son, Gert was working long hours, trying to get his business off the ground. I was at home in a new city, always waiting for him,' remembers Marianne. ‘Eventually, I made new friends and started going out on my own, but that didn't work for him. It brought up insecurities that he wouldn't talk about.'


 


With Marianne forcing him to communicate about his feelings, the couple found a way to renegotiate the way forward. ‘If I look back at all we've been through, I realize I am more flexible and open when it comes to change, whereas he feels safer when things are stable, even predictable.' Talking was the key.


 


If you, like the couples above, are also experiencing a relationship itch, consider this: Such stages are wake-up calls that keep the relationship alive and facilitate more authentic connection. These great events in the story of a couple's life together are usually the catalysts for their mutual emotional and spiritual growth.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Relationship Problems

Those relationship problems never seem to go away. Why is that? Is it possible that problems are a by-product of a relationship?


What is a problem anyway? It is a certain thing, or situation that you are not willing to accept as it is. You want to change it.


What do we want from a relationship? What is a relationship without problems?


There is no relationship without problems! There is no life without problems! For the reason that we always want to change; change ourselves, others, situation. Life is change!


The bottom line is we will always have problems. Deal with it! Learn from it! Laugh at it! Make problems your ally! Change your perception of the problems.


Don't fear them: fear creates resistance. What we resist will persist. Love them. Love transforms. To love is to understand and accept.


What we are looking for is always right here, right now.

We don't want to accept it; we prefer to expect it. (smile)

Over 90% of all failed relationships result from a lack of honest communication and awareness. Awareness is a key to an honest communication.


Thus, a relationship is a partnership, a friendship where people can support each other in life, being fully aware that they are getting into it out of basic need - survival. Only then true intimacy and honesty can take place in a relationship.


Starting a relationship with the belief that it is for the sake of (emotional) love manifests expectations, which will never be met. On the other hand, being aware of the true motives and acting upon them with humbleness will create moments of unconditional love.


We need a true friend!


"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities."


--William Arthur Ward

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Tips For Relationship

How to strengthen your relationships? Are you lack of opportunities to show commitment, generosity or passion? Like everyone else, those who have relationships with you can falter or slip because no one is perfect. When this happens, is both your responsibilities to take necessary measures to ensure that your relationship becomes stronger, fuller and subsequent maintenance. If you are a businessman, are you intending to repay your colleagues? If you are a coworker, what can you do to help their colleagues to do well or to accelerate their career? Are you sharing valuable information with them to enrich their knowledge on how to promote new or improve your success?
If you are a spouse, do you do things to encourage your spouse or you seek opportunities to make him or her look stupid? Have you point out their weaknesses or enhance their strengths? Are you taking some type of actions in a way that will make your husband proud of you, or do you do what you want, without considering the feelings of another person?
If you are a businessman, are you talking to your customers with dignity, when things go wrong or do you reject them and belittle their concerns? Do you do what you can to help them solve their problems to help them invaluable service?
If you want to strengthen your relationship, you should ask yourself what is one thing I can do next week to strengthen relationship ? Write five things you can do to help strengthen your relationship and do one every week for the next five weeks. No secrecy, tell the other person you want to improve relationships and maybe you can just inspire some positive competition - another good way to stimulate relationship.
If you are a businessman, you know your customers / clients are valuable to the survival of your business so make concessions to them and treat them in a way that reflects its value. If you are a manager, then you know that your employees are important to the success of your team or department so treat in a way that shows the value. You speak in a respectful manner, encourage their growth and development, share objectives and vision with them so they can be fully committed to making a reality. If you are a spouse, then you know the value of your spouse plays in this relationship and help to build the life of your dreams. It is very important that you treat your wife with dignity and respect, acts of kindness, love, understanding and forgiveness for the mistakes and hurts.
When working with groups I often ask how they feel useful at work or in their intimate relationships. I think this is important because the assessment of the value of the relationship is something that both sides should do. If you feel that you are assessed in a relationship, then it is your responsibility to do what I call - the value of the conversation. This is where you ask the other person in relationship to identifying value of ten things you bring to the relationship, and you offer to do the same. In the end, you should give priority to top five values, then ask the other person as he or she wants to show respect for this value during the next three months, and of course, be prepared to do the same.

Relationship With China

In China, Guanxi (relationship) is a challenging field. A special feature of doing business in China will likely be that Guanxi (relationship) in China must consist of relationship with the govt body, investors, partners as well as relationship along with your own employees, so when doing business in China, it truly is important for foreign investors to learn to coordinate with all the China authorities, specially establishing great relationship with government bodies dealing with foreign trade and economic cooperation.

Procedures for investing in China is little bit complicated than other countries. So, it truly is needed that one has information of all these procedures just before commencing investments in China. Consequently, one should be conscious of investment procedures ahead of carrying out any business in China. A safer and more proper way will likely be to seek out help from local organizations familiar within the same area of business or consultant companies who are capable to supply expert guidance and assistance. Willpower and patience might be essential for a trader to achieve success, nevertheless it is important for one to require assist from professional bodies to make sure that success will be attained.

Seeking the ideal local cooperative partner is usually a shortcut one undertakes when developing the China market. Many people have established joint venture and foreign cooperative enterprise and so forth. as a stepping stone to enter the China market, therefore which investment mode to choose one will have to accord together with the enterprise's characteristics and has to be one of the most suitable for building the enterprise's business and helping its march to the China industry. It really is recommended to take one step at a time while investing in China and never to rush at a time. One shouldn't be also initiative. It is important to have a good relationship with the local partner to lessen an investment risk. China's investment environment is rapidly modifying each of the time, so it truly is essential to take the help of local companies.

China is really a labour incentive nation. Labour cost is very low in China and most the labour are now educated. There are many educational programme ongoing in China nowadays, so it is not hard to find labour force that are highly expert and educated. Many productive foreign traders have even credited their accomplishment in China to their China's local workers. The primary problem for any foreign firm is how you can preserve an excellent relationship with their Chinese employees. First of all, top management should cultivate the company's vision and values into the employees because what the local people are taught under China's educational system may crash with the foreign management system. If the employee of the company understand the company's aim and objectives perfectly then only company can prosper.

Strengthening Your Relationship

Why is being in a relationship sometimes the most satisfying and joyful experience and at other times the most miserable?


Many romantic relationships start out feeling fantastic. You feel seen for who you really are, and even your flaws are loved and cherished. You feel the same in return. In the beginning, your partner's flaws are endearing and loveable, and their mistakes can be fairly easily forgiven. Being together is exciting and satisfying.


For many couples, this experience of feeling easily understood changes at some point. Perhaps this change starts when your partner says something that makes you question whether they really understand you after all. Perhaps one of you wants more sex or intimacy than the other and that begins to throw things out of balance. Or maybe changes in your lives such as a child entering the relationship, or more demanding work schedules begin to take away your time and energy to tune in to each other.


When you reach out for connection with your partner and feel let down by their response (or lack of response), it is painful.

A negative cycle begins to form. One of you reaches out, and the other inadvertently does not give the desired response. Feeling rejected or disappointed, the one who has reached out loses some faith in the relationship, responding with anger or distance. The other partner responds to the distance or anger by withdrawing more. The cycle is in motion, and it seems to have a life of its own.

Why can't we just change the painful cycle when it starts? Because when you are in the middle of this pattern, it is hard to see your part in it. Feeling hurt or defensive and stirred up by conflict makes it hard to think creatively, empathize with your partner, and take the risks that are necessary to stay close and connected.


Couples therapy is the process of slowing down the cycles that increase distance and creating enough safety for each person to take risks that lead to connection and deeper intimacy. Couples therapy can give you tools to soften conflicts and to make risk taking more successful.


One of the skills I teach to couples is how to become an expert on the internal world of your partner. Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute calls this skill "Love Maps." He has researched hundreds of couples over three decades (footnote), and discovered that couples who have a deep and accurate knowledge about each other's thoughts and feelings tend to have long and satisfying relationships.


When couples are dating and falling in love, they tend to ask each other questions and learn about each other's daily lives, thoughts and dreams. This process tends to lead to a positive cycle of more and more connection and intimacy. However, many couples lose the habit of creating "Love Maps" over time. Partners can get back in the habit, and ask questions to update this knowledge regularly. Here are a few examples of the types of questions partners can ask each other to rebuild "Love Maps":


"What would you like your life to look like in five years?"
"What events are coming up that you are worried about, and why?"
"What's your favorite movie that you've seen in the past year?"
"With whom do you currently have a conflict (besides me)?"


When you feel known and understood by your partner, the times when you reach out and don't get what you want feel less painful. When you deeply know and understand your partner, you have more access to empathy and can more easily handle the times your partner is unavailable. This is one of the many tools couples can use to break the distancing cycle and make deeper connection possible.

Relationship Difficulties And Solutions

Relationships challenges and options #1: The spark is gone


This is an extremely general connection complication. As the newness of a love wears of as well as the business of life sets in, you must produce a deliberate effort to create sparks along with your important other. Should you don’t, your bond will begin to really feel cold and empty. The two of you can drift additional and additional apart. Eventually, you will be looking at someone you no longer know. You’re able to refrain from this common bond dilemma with these ideas:


Send something to them at function. Nothing tells your associate which you are thinking about them like sending them a gift while they may be at perform. It also gives them key bragging rights among their co-workers.


Make a special date evening. Set aside one day a week that the two of you’re able to commit time as a couple.

It may be an item that you simply do the similar every single week, or it may be an item distinct. The point would be to have a night for just the two of you. As you trudge via the monotony from the week, you might both have an item to look forward to.

Play hooky for a day. Call in sick or ask for time off in advance. Either way, your goal could be the same. Acquire this day to do things romantic, fun, and out from the ordinary. Go on a walk, go for the beach, cuddle in bed till noon. Laugh with each other, spend time with each other, and produce a deliberate work to indulge in each other. At all costs, evade chores and regular every day activities.


Union issues and solutions #2: The cheating partner


In case you suspect that your mate is dishonest on you, avoid accusing until you realize for positive. You’re able to come across out by paying consideration to their actions and words, checking cell phone bills, credit card bills, and going along with your gut. If you have discovered out that your significant other is with another, you’ll find some steps that you just ought to receive.


Accept it. It can be truly quick to just ignore it. Still, you can’t do anything about the circumstances at any time you refuse to accept it.


Do not blame your self. Your associate is the 1 that chose to go outside of your broken relationship. Even though there is tons of advice that says you could maintain your lover from cheating, this statement is only partially true. One can find points that you just can do to continue to keep your sex life fresh and exciting. Then again, inside the end, this does not at all times stop a dishonest companion. If you have to “do” factors to keep your mate from dishonest, then you’ve gotten a pretty big problem.


Create a decision. You can get only two decisions for making in this problem: stay or leave. In case you pick to stay, you happen to be going to ought to accept your sweetheart for who they may be. You can’t, and I will say that again, Can not change who they are. In the event you choose to stay, you need to take the affairs along with him. For those who do make the selection to conclude the romance, then consider this as a learning experience. Sometimes, we stop up with people which are bad for us for the reason that we aren’t able to fully enjoy ourselves. Assume time to heal prior to moving on and find out from it.


Love affair conditions and options #3: The nagger


Nagging can kill a romance quicker than it’s possible to blink. In spite of this, a great number of occasions there may be a reason behind the nagging. Acquiring for the root of this complication can frequently solve it. Here are some tips.


Initial, has your companion always been a nag? If so, it’s achievable that your better half grew up like this. Maybe they lived in a family that nagged to get what they wanted. If this will be the issue, then it might probably be finest to seek counseling for the both of you. Your partner might have some deeply ingrained issues that will need addressed. You should certainly attend too so that you simply know how you can successfully support them.


Discover to listen. Loads of occasions, nagging begins since your wife or husband feels like you are not listening. They may think that you simply have grow to be distant or just do not care anymore. Their nagging can be a cry for your appreciate, affection, and attention. Once you possess taken the time to listen to your wife or husband, respond to them in a way that will support to diffuse the circumstance. Then, speak to your better half about how you think about their constant complaining. Be incredibly sensitive when discussing this. Speak about how the two of it is possible to communicate greater to repair your bond.


These are the three most commonplace intimate relationship dilemmas and remedies. Of course, there are lots of extra, but that would acquire loads of time to discuss. Remember, if your lover is abusive in any way, you need to seek professional assist and get out with the rapport as soon as potential. These kinds of relationships are dangerous.


I’m a pshychologist dealing mostly with dating advice for couples, younger or older. I publish articles on my website carester.

Relationship Advice for Women

They say, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Does it look like any of us care, when it comes to relationship advice for women? Irrespective or our origins, the fact remains, that we women need an advice on how to deal with a man, especially when it comes to a romantic relationship. In my opinion, women have higher emotional intelligence than men, but despite that, sometimes they can be at their wits end because of a man's confusing behavior. So, after a great deal of writings on relationships, here's an exclusive piece of work just for women. The relationship advice for women will be put forward by commonly asked questions.

Relationship Advice for Women

Q1: I hate the dating games that men play. I don't know how to deal with momentary flings or someone who gets too clingy?
As a relationship advice and dating advice for women in the real world, I would like to say there is no one out there with lots of time to know what you want.

We women love to hide in our shells and play the 'guess my feelings' game. Sadly, in the real world, you've got to speak up. Selective mutism (not speaking up when necessary) is not going to be entertained in a man's world. Men by nature, are not mind readers as they themselves like to be cajoled and listened to. Hence, when a man is making his moves on you, make it very clear about what you want and what you are expecting. This will save the time and effort for both of you and save the trouble of having strings attached or cutting the strings, whatever be the case.

Read more on:
Dating Tips for Women
Dating Tips for Girls

Q2: My husband never bothers to listen to what I have got to say. Neither does he take any decisions around the house. How am I to know what he wants?
From the olden times of your grand-mother to your mother and now to yours, the situation to men being indecisive about home affairs has remained the same. This stems from the fact, that the primal instinct of men is to be a protector, provider and possessor. And the role of a woman, is that of a 'homemaker' (sorry, if I am getting too cynical). It's with these instincts that we act as a couple. Thus, when it comes to taking a decision regarding home affairs, he will always respect your decision, support it and will help you if it's not wrong. That's exactly what he will do, because that's exactly what he wants. The other problem of not being a listener is rooted in the fact, that men procrastinate. Yes, they need to be pushed a little, but not nagged.

Q3: I am seeing this guy for a month and I've always stopped him from getting to the third base. I am scared things will get further than that. How do I tell him my dilemma?
Hmmm...we all go though this. Don't we? The 'right time' may be right there in front of us, but certainty of it, is always uncertain. As relationship advice for girls, especially below 18, I suggest, keep this moment for later, when you are aware of what you are doing. Right now 18 may just seem a number to you, but trust me, you will ripe in your understanding with years that pass by. For girls above the age of 18, there is nothing wrong in feeling the way you are feeling. He may be coming on too strong for you, but stop him there, talk it out to him, share your fears and things will workout. If he really cares for you, he will understand you.

Q4: I work beyond my office hours. Sometimes I pull 15 hours of work a day. Post work, I get too tired to attend to my domestic affairs. My husband gets irritated with me and we get into regular fights. I am scared this will affect our bond and children too. Please help.
I completely understand your situation, dear reader. What women need to know about men, is, that they are just like kids. They want to be pampered, be (extra) cared for, heard, loved and attended too. Your long working hours is making your husband miss you, more than he should. Missing your partner, to a certain level is important, as too much familiarity begins to breed boredom. But 15 hours of work is draining you out, which is taking a toll on him and in turn reflecting on your kids. As an honest relationship advice for women, communicate your situation to your husband and let him know that at the moment, it's not possible to put your profession in a backseat. At the same time, try and take a weekend off and go out on a weekend getaway with your family, then let me know how the situation improves.

Q5: My guy has failed to see me as a respectable individual in the past two years. Our relationship has taken an abusive turn. I love him a lot and I am still hoping for a change. Am I right?
Respect is the first premise of any relationship. If your guy has failed to learn such a simple thing in two years, then I've got to say, call it quits. Relationship advice to break up comes as a last resort, but if the other person is unwilling all the while, to make it work, then why waste time in hoping for a change all the while? I understand that you love him. But, the truth remains, love is just one factor of having a healthy relationship. With all due respect to him, end it on a good note and thank him for teaching you things like patience (for tolerating him), virtue of self reliance and ability to understand your emotions, and move out of the relationship. With so many positive changes in you, surely you will find somebody worth much more.

Mending a Depressed Relationship

Beginning a relationship is much easier and less costly than mending a depressed relationship. You could be going through a depressed moment when all you had hoped for in your relationship seem not to work. When two people get into a relationship normally they do that based on some assumptions.


At times these assumptions do not endure or other factors come on board that make them too difficult to bear. In mending a relationship that has become depressed major key is determining what are some of these assumptions that have now surfaced. Lets go through some of these assumptions:


-That My partner is perfect: More often people go into a relationship with a person they consider to be a perfect match for them. In so doing, they fail to give room for imperfections and failures. When they finally come, they start to depress the relationship since the original mindset is upset.


-That my partner will reform: This happens especially among those who have diverse lifestyles.

If you have a relationship with a person who takes excessive alcohol or drugs and hopes that his/her promise to you that they will reform actually will stand. However as times goes on, you realize that the reforms do not come as expected. Naturally the love bond begins to weaken and the relationship gets depressed.

-My love for him/her is enough: Normally it takes love to begin a relationship but it doesn't take love to ensure a relationship lasts. This assumption explains why passionate lovers will next day take each other before a judge asking for divorce. When loves begins to weaken, and relationship gets its toll of depression it is important to address this assumption. It takes more than love to sustain a relationship.


-He/she will understand: Perhaps this is the major ingredient in weakening a relationship. A relationship has trust has its major pillar. Trust has information and openness as major driving force. It is never wise to assume that your partner will understand why for instance you misused family finances, why you took long to arrive at a date or why you wore some clothes she/he doesn't like. When lack of understanding gets the relationship depressed, address this assumption.


A depressed relationship more often than not is a result of these sustained assumptions. So to address the problem its good to address these assumptions as a matter of priority.

Ending a Bad Relationship

The other night I watched the Jack Nicholson-Diane Keaton romantic comedy, ‘Something's Gotta Give' for the third time. I wondered what I liked about the movie that motivated me to watch it so many times.


Sure the writing and the acting is first rate, the locations are spectacular and seeing Jack Nicholson in a comedic role is always a treat and Keanu Reeves is a pleasure to look at.


And I finally figured out what was so great. How the characters played by Nicholson and Keaton handled the break up of their brief, intense, highly charged and unusual (for both of them) relationship.


They felt something they may not have felt before and it impacted them in ways that encouraged them to make major changes in their lives.


What they felt was love. And then they both felt the accompanying pain when love doesn't fit into the structure we think it should.


She turned her pain into creativity and wrote a funny play about their relationships.


He decided to clean up his life and jumped on a plane to Paris to find her.


It's so fabulous what pain can spark in our lives.

You can blast off into a new dimension.

What do you do when a relationship ends? What do you do with the pain, the grief and the power of those emotions?


PAIN IS POWERFUL


Pain can be a great motivator. After all it lets us know we're alive. It keeps us awake. And crying can be so cleansing for the soul. That deep crying that leaves you exhausted and yet in touch at a deep level with your truth.


Do you notice how sensitive you are to your feelings and the feelings of others when you realize you're in love and it doesn't look like it will work out? The pain that hits you in the stomach and leaves you feeling so vulnerable.


From that place ­ that vulnerable place ­ comes your truth, your compassion, and best of all, feeling love. Really feeling it.


When my clients break up from any relationship, let's stick to a romantic one here, I help them process their pain and then help them learn so much about themselves.


It often looks to other people like they were crazy to have dated that person, crazy to have fallen in love with that person. Couldn't they see that person was so wrong for them?


Friends don't want to see you hurting. But somewhere deep inside yourself you know the truth. That feeling love like this is a good thing ­ even the pain for a short period of time.


LIVING YOUR LIFE


Feeling love let's you know you're alive. You didn't sit on the sidelines watching other people live their lives; you got out there and lived yours.


Sure it hurts when a relationship doesn't work out. But whose standards are you using for ‘it didn't work out?'


Not everyone we meet and date can or even should be our spouse. And what's so wrong with finding out that you love someone with all your heart and soul and they aren't the person you want to marry and live with forever?


Does that in any way negate the love, the connection? NO! Why does every relationship have to be a serious committed one?


Doesn't each person we are with teach us something wonderful? Something valuable? YES!! They really do. Look deeper.


Don't go into ‘poor me' or ‘untrusting woman' or ‘pitiful guy' mode! Please do nurture yourself but don't go into victim and shut down. That is not the purpose of any relationship.


Our heroine in the movie realized she could enjoy male company, young and old. She became wildly creative and alive. She was already successful and became even more so. And she came alive as a woman!


Our hero learned he did have a desire to be with a woman who understood him, was at his level and was his soul mate. Pretty powerful for a confirmed bachelor. He learned to cry, to feel, to love.


So if you've just broken up with someone or vice versa, please allow yourself a few days or weeks to grieve. Nurture yourself.


Then with all that vulnerability, truth and love look, to see what you've just learned. What wonderful thing came from that relationship? Can you still be friends and do things together? Maybe, maybe not. You'll know.


Don't take your pain out on your friends, co-workers, family or pets.


Do put the power of that energy to work for you. That energy is so powerful. It can be constructive. You can use it to create, to contribute, to serve, to Set Your Spirit Free.


Choose to be open, alive, vulnerable and trusting and get back out there again to live and love. Let all that love in your heart overflow. You don't have to get back into a relationship and you will be so glad when you do something wonderful and constructive with the love in your heart.


Make a contribution to your life and to others. Blast off! Set your spirit free!


You are love. Feel it, live it, give it.

Dealing with Relationship Problems

They say we are happier, are in better health and may even live longer if we have deeper relationships with family and friends. Dealing with relationship problems can ensure that couples, parents, friends and families have fulfilled relationships.


Mike Rudink, series producer of ‘The Happiness Formula' has researched some of the factors that scientists are recommending in order to reach a fuller, happier life. These happiness factors include all these relationships such as marriage and other long term intimate relationships. Another happiness factor is that of a person believing that he has meaning. This ultimately related back to a belief in something bigger like religion, spirituality or a philosophy of life. Also included in the having meaning happiness factor is that of having enjoyable long term goals.


Many people however will struggle with maintaining good and healthy relationships due to their relationship problems.

The necessity to decrease the amount of issues that are present in a relationship will help towards maintaining and making long term healthy relationships.

There are many factors that lead to issues within a relationship. Money and partner insensitivity were cited as the main causes of arguments in our relationships. According to a You Gov. survey from 2007, 34% of married and cohabiting couples said that arguments about money, spending or investing where the biggest issue for couples; whilst 25% cited partner's insensitivity.


Money worries relating to debt and unemployment for instance can spark off serious rows with our partners. We may find ourselves moody, extra-sensitive and difficult to be around.


One partner may feel that the other is spending too much money at a time when neither can afford it, or that they should be saving in case either of them loses their job.

Whilst the other partner may feel that they are being put under intense scrutiny for buying a more expensive brand. 

Although arguments are a common occurrence, some may say they are good for airing concerns and helping us to reach a compromise. Arguing instead of letting problems simmer and build into bigger issues may be more beneficial; although, on the other hand, bickering constantly with your partner may also be equally harmful to the relationship in the long run. Couples need to realise that there is a happy medium between airing concerns and bickering. Couples who work on their relationships will be able to realise when it is best to speak about issues that would have an impact on their relationship.


Arguments about money can quickly escalate into other issues if care and sensitivity is not applied. An argument over money and spending may lead to other arguments about other unimportant aspects in the relationship, and soon the couple with be faced with many more relationship problems as they begin to fight about any and everything. Therefore, being mindful of why and how we argue is crucial to maintaining happy and healthy relationships.